The Emotional Reality of Maternity Leave: When It's Harder Than You Expected

When you're on leave from work, you imagine rest, holidays and time for yourself.

That was certainly me when I submitted my maternity leave. I was in a job I hated and counting down the days. I had so many plans. I was going to rest, nest, and finally rewatch every episode of Desperate Housewives (which I'm actually doing now, and I have to say... as a mum, I completely understand Lynette in a way I never did before!).

After a pregnancy that had stolen so much of my joy, I imagined maternity leave would be the part where I could finally breathe.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

When my baby arrived, I was suddenly carrying a completely different workload. As a sole parent, I was thrown into chaos, confusion, anxiety and exhaustion. I remember thinking, "I'd actually rather be at work... it's easier."

At the time, I felt guilty for even thinking that.

Please don't misunderstand me. I adore my children and becoming a mum was something I had dreamed about for years. But loving your children and finding motherhood overwhelming can both be true at the same time.

I've realised that, for my own mental wellbeing, I'm happier as a working mum. I have so much admiration for stay-at-home mums and those spending extended time on maternity leave because I personally found it incredibly overwhelming. I'm someone who thrives on routine, and even now during the school holidays I find myself looking forward to getting back into our usual rhythm.

There also seemed to be so much pressure. Pressure to enjoy every moment. To celebrate every milestone. To meet up with other mums. To make homemade organic weaning foods. To be grateful all the time.

The reality didn't match the picture I had in my head, and I know I'm not the only one who has felt that way.

If you're on maternity leave right now and wondering why it feels so much harder than you expected, I want you to know you're not failing.

Maternity leave isn't simply time away from work. It's stepping into one of the biggest life transitions you'll ever experience, with a whole new mental, emotional and physical workload that no one can fully prepare you for.

If this resonates with you and you'd like a safe space to talk it through, I'd love to support you. Get in touch to arrange a free 20-minute discovery call and we can explore whether therapy feels like the right next step for you.