When working with mums, I always talk about the importance of self care. I get it, it’s so difficult for a new mum to look after herself when she has a newborn to care for. Neglecting yourself and your self care practices will lead to burn out and exhaustion, so how about looking for pockets of time, such as when baby sleeps or if your partner takes baby out or feeds baby. It doesn’t always have to take up a lot of time in your day, but using these moments to do something for you can be really beneficial for your mental well-being. Taking time out for you enhances emotional resilience and creates a positive environment for you and baby.
Firstly, set realistic expectations. Life as a new mum is busy. As said previously, can you look for pockets of time? Build yourself a support network of family, friends and support groups of mums going through the sayme as you. I understand you may be feeling sleep deprived but are you able to sleep when the baby sleeps? I also understand this may bring up feelings of guilt, for not doing the housework or any other task on your never ending to do list, but by resting, you are benefitting not only you but the relationships around you. Ride the waves of guilt and give yourself compassion. Listen to your body and if you need to sleep, then do just that.
When you are exhausted and mentally drained, you feel like you have nothing left to give. It it’s important to recognise when you are heading to burn out. How would it feel to prioritise some rest? We need rest to re-programme our thoughts, stay present, make decisions and so much more. The more we give, the more we need to refuel and prioritise rest for ourselves. It doesn’t have to take too much time either. Having 5-10 minutes for yourself throughout the day is enough so that you don’t go pure exhaustion by the end of the day. When you’re filling up your car for a long journey, you fill it up before hand. You’re constantly checking in with how much fuel you’ve got through your journey and you fill it up before your engine light comes on. You do this for your car, but can you do this for you? Can you check in with your own fuel light during the day and fill up when needed, to avoid your own engine light coming on.
Self-care for mums extends beyond just rest, it’s about nurturing your emotional and mental well-being too. Carving out time for activities that bring you joy whether it’s reading a book, a hobby, or socialising with friends can recharge you. Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish- it’s essential. By prioritising your own happiness, you become a more present and engaged mum able to handle the whatever challenges are thrown your way.
I invite you to find time this week to look after your mental well-being by doing something for you that will bring you joy. Whatever this looks like for you, make sure you make it a priority. It may feel difficult at first, but habits are built by repetition so it’s ok to start small. You will start seeing the benefits and it will become a non negotiable. Remember self care doesn’t mean me first, it means me too.
If you are wanting to go one step further and make your mental well-being a priority, why not book a call to see if counselling is the right thing for you. You can do this by submitting a form on the website.
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